i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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