I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
