I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
