I only kidnapped one of them. chill
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
