My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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