im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
