Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  I only kidnapped one of them. chill

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): I only kidnapped one of them. chill http://tfl.nu/ogw5
  Replies (10) Good night (2976) Bad night (688)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her http://tfl.nu/gfqm
  Replies (123) Good night (690) Bad night (2527)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid? http://tfl.nu/a3m4
  Replies (49) Good night (625) Bad night (3928)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (571): he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time http://tfl.nu/1urp
  Replies (40) Good night (6754) Bad night (1648)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work. http://tfl.nu/vmme
  Replies (15) Good night (1091) Bad night (3439)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney http://tfl.nu/cbnm
  Replies (4) Good night (3662) Bad night (789)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (337): Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times. http://tfl.nu/ao6t
  Replies (30) Good night (9528) Bad night (1167)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up. http://tfl.nu/edto
  Replies (6) Good night (2331) Bad night (1070)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint? http://tfl.nu/8n36
  Replies (11) Good night (4442) Bad night (1018)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough. http://tfl.nu/vxm3
  Replies (10) Good night (1613) Bad night (668)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick. http://tfl.nu/e6nk
  Replies (29) Good night (1186) Bad night (5982)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner. http://tfl.nu/1na9
  Replies (8) Good night (2194) Bad night (883)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend. http://tfl.nu/myz5
  Replies (7) Good night (3340) Bad night (694)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast. http://tfl.nu/w2q8
  Replies (11) Good night (1212) Bad night (434)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (260): I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby" http://tfl.nu/6cul
  Replies (0) Good night (564) Bad night (211)

Randomize