No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?