Texts From Last Night

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  (816): View more from Missouri

  FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...

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  (816): FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine... http://tfl.nu/7ts7
  Replies (53) Good night (721) Bad night (3508)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.

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  (410): He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot. http://tfl.nu/qo51
  Replies (16) Good night (1140) Bad night (4908)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere

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  (201): As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere http://tfl.nu/2ys4
  Replies (58) Good night (14689) Bad night (1307)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair

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  (985): And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair http://tfl.nu/0fee
  Replies (16) Good night (6286) Bad night (798)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.

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  (412): im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs. http://tfl.nu/u0xf
  Replies (10) Good night (803) Bad night (4330)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.

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  (502): I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis. http://tfl.nu/zjdj
  Replies (31) Good night (1649) Bad night (3940)
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  (818): View more from California

  I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.

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  (818): I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking. http://tfl.nu/j1uf
  Replies (16) Good night (1259) Bad night (5212)
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  (+82): View more from South Korea

  You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.

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  (+82): You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes. http://tfl.nu/6vdw
  Replies (7) Good night (5398) Bad night (1066)
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  (310): View more from California

  If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is

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  (310): If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is http://tfl.nu/w3co
  Replies (9) Good night (3845) Bad night (952)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....

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  (717): I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday.... http://tfl.nu/1vhm
  Replies (4) Good night (1666) Bad night (656)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.

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  (908): I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well. http://tfl.nu/i8n0
  Replies (4) Good night (1924) Bad night (797)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  We're knee deep in HJ's right now.

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  (217): We're knee deep in HJ's right now. http://tfl.nu/uucd
  Replies (10) Good night (1216) Bad night (499)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.

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  (603): Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on. http://tfl.nu/oqbv
  Replies (1) Good night (939) Bad night (345)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do

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  (734): If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do http://tfl.nu/wpum
  Replies (7) Good night (1113) Bad night (230)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?

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  (413): what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus? http://tfl.nu/dnoa
  Replies (2) Good night (177) Bad night (375)

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