Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you http://tfl.nu/rkl4
  Replies (5) Good night (770) Bad night (3079)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children. http://tfl.nu/7iz1
  Replies (109) Good night (1102) Bad night (2989)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street. http://tfl.nu/miwy
  Replies (5) Good night (860) Bad night (3650)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/3cxs
  Replies (20) Good night (3378) Bad night (1285)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing. http://tfl.nu/tedj
  Replies (9) Good night (988) Bad night (2839)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet. http://tfl.nu/dtlg
  Replies (6) Good night (2490) Bad night (1877)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese. http://tfl.nu/swul
  Replies (4) Good night (1791) Bad night (666)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again... http://tfl.nu/wz8h
  Replies (8) Good night (875) Bad night (2518)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful. http://tfl.nu/5n8j
  Replies (7) Good night (2077) Bad night (967)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender" http://tfl.nu/qf49
  Replies (3) Good night (1631) Bad night (628)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party. http://tfl.nu/ny5q
  Replies (5) Good night (1749) Bad night (566)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun? http://tfl.nu/syxe
  Replies (2) Good night (1074) Bad night (361)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night. (1-513): Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though? http://tfl.nu/ren0
  Replies (2) Good night (671) Bad night (428)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp? http://tfl.nu/htfq
  Replies (3) Good night (564) Bad night (378)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014. http://tfl.nu/dfn7
  Replies (0) Good night (190) Bad night (402)

Randomize