Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Whod you bang

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  (313): Whod you bang http://tfl.nu/rw3i
  Replies (7) Good night (2685) Bad night (882)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY

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  (260): I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY http://tfl.nu/3vks
  Replies (4) Good night (2113) Bad night (677)
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  (323): View more from California

  Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.

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  (323): Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy. http://tfl.nu/msnn
  Replies (39) Good night (5521) Bad night (1535)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.

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  (623): Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth. http://tfl.nu/v51o
  Replies (17) Good night (1021) Bad night (3221)
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  (315): View more from New York

  careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....

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  (315): careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there.... http://tfl.nu/ypb5
  Replies (10) Good night (6172) Bad night (1375)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.

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  (360): I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer. http://tfl.nu/agxw
  Replies (4) Good night (2221) Bad night (844)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

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  (641): I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. http://tfl.nu/90tm
  Replies (18) Good night (1155) Bad night (1327)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.

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  (306): I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text. http://tfl.nu/e61q
  Replies (8) Good night (3127) Bad night (660)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.

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  (770): He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons. http://tfl.nu/t6wz
  Replies (9) Good night (562) Bad night (943)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.

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  (216): I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot. http://tfl.nu/mi2o
  Replies (3) Good night (984) Bad night (490)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year

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  (702): Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year http://tfl.nu/tm45
  Replies (10) Good night (1484) Bad night (451)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D

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  (402): Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D http://tfl.nu/eelv
  Replies (2) Good night (634) Bad night (317)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?

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  (513): So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night. (1-513): Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though? http://tfl.nu/ren0
  Replies (2) Good night (571) Bad night (330)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned

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  (303): Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned http://tfl.nu/2xe6
  Replies (1) Good night (412) Bad night (363)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.

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  (586): I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish. http://tfl.nu/znzs
  Replies (5) Good night (392) Bad night (679)

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