whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I want to make a zoo with you.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.