drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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