nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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