Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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