just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
