You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
