How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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