What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
