CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
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Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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