Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
