..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
what is it with giant penises always finding me
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
