hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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