Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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