i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
