Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
