Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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