But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
