dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
