would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
