I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize