i think i have herpe
just one?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
