Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
