just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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