I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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