I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
