No stitches, just platelets and will power
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize