marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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