So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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