my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize