Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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