I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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