definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
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