Sry I called you an 8
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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