just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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