woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
third nipple confirmed
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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