have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm just crazy horny about you
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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