You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Holy shit dude........stairs
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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