i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
