There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
