I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
