Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
