If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I wish I could punch you in the face.
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
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