she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
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the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
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She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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