Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Will you blow on my dice?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
