what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Randomize
