Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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