the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
