My brain says no but my pants say off.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
