Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize