she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
