And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
