a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
It was confusing and full of hummus
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
