I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
