I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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