She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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