You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I just want to make out with him forever
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
