I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
This can only be settled by a dance off.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
