if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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