the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
