I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
