Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize